Now you might be thinking ‘but Paul, how can you tell me whether or not I should get false teeth when you have none yourself?’ But actually I do have teeth! I have a lovely set of chompers in the form of many rows of small teeth called denticles. So please ask me the question: should I get false teeth, and I will tell you definitively, drawing on all those years as Putin’s personal dental hygeinist, exactly the answer you need.